For me the film ‘The Matrix’ (which if you haven’t seen I really recommend you watch, the following two sequels – not so much) is a metaphor for the effect that giving up drinking has had on my perception of the world and reality. In the film Neo chooses the ‘red pill’ which means seeing the somewhat painful truth of the now revealed reality. Equally if you prefer the film Total Recall the red pill analogy is in this one too as “a symbol – of the desire to return to reality”.
Everyone’s reality is different but for me it meant dealing with life that felt more edgy. No way of softening the sometimes harsh reality of emotions, hard days, stress, boredom, whatever ailed me a drink always seemed to solve. Before I stopped I believed that I wouldn’t be able to cope with life without my reward at the end of the day or the end of the week. How would I celebrate life’s little triumphs and big occasions like birthdays and weddings? The week-end just gone was my birthday. And I celebrated it just fine – with cake, cups of tea and my family, just no fizz. The world didn’t stop turning and I had a lovely day.
It’s easier than you think, and so I continue, day 39.