Why is it when we c*ck something up we come down on ourselves harder than a ton of bricks, berating and belittling ourselves, but when we do something well it passes by almost unnoticed or we assign the success as down to something other than ourselves? In psychology this is known as the fundamental attribution error and I’m really good at this type of thinking and in the past it quite often led to me picking up a drink!
So having publicly called myself out for not handling a situation with my kids well earlier in the week I am now going to pat myself on the back for doing the opposite. Same scenario, just before school, when everyone is in a hurry but this time I didn’t yell but stopped and listened and rather than make a child cry I helped them dry their tears and go to school with their head held high rather than their head dropped low.
I don’t know if it would have played out the same had I had a hangover but I believe, and feel, that the clear head is helping me be more patient and have more compassion than I was capable of before. When I don’t quite manage to handle something as well as I could I am quicker to see the need for apology and to move to repair the damage more swiftly. Both lead to less shame and guilt and therefore less desire to pick up a drink!
I’m also not very good at recognising that doing something well for yourself is something worthy of pride. So with pride I say day 69 🙂