Last night I went to the cinema to watch the ‘Wolf of Wall Street’, Scorsese’s new film. Going to the cinema is one of my sober treats – a good film, bottle of water and bag of liquorice and I’m happy 🙂
Jordan Belfort, the film’s lead character played by Leonardo DiCaprio, is the wolf of wall street and for me he is the human personification of ‘wolfie’ complete with glass of red wine.
He develops a massively chronic addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex and money during the film. You also see him get clean and sober for 2 years, which he hates and says as much, and is very much the epitome of what I would call a ‘dry drunk’.
Early on in the film you see the seeds of his drug addiction take root when you see him take his first hit off a crack pipe. The acting and filming is superb and he portrays so well the effect of the drug as he inhales and exhales and it hits his brain.
And this is when the light bulb went off in my head – that was it, that was what I was chasing when I drank. That first drink when alcohol crosses your blood-brain barrier initially and shifts your consciousness making the edges of life fuzzy. That was what I craved. Any drink beyond that was drunk hoping for that moment to be recreated again but it had passed. Now I truly understood what people meant when they said that it was that first drink that was the problem – it was all a mirage.
During the film he took more drugs, drank more, had more sex, earned more money but it had gone from a desire or a want to a need that he now couldn’t live without. That was me and booze too. The drinking at the end was determined and not pleasurable – almost a chore but I kidded myself that it was fun despite knowing the next morning it would be far from fun.
I feel like these blogs about my drinking days have been hard-work and heavy going and I’m keen to finish this series of recollections on a lighter note! So I’ll share this comedy sketch from BBC Radio 4 where the characters of Winnie the Pooh stage an intervention for Pooh Bear because of his honey issues 🙂
Starts at 12.15 mins and lasts just over 3 1/2 minutes.