Sober treats

Sober treats are a corner-stone of Belle‘s approach to getting the better of wolfie.  Initially when I joined Team 100 and she asked me to do some homework to identify treats I did it but didn’t really understand why.  They didn’t have to have a high monetary value, just a couple of quid, and were my reward to myself for not drinking.  She had explained why but I didn’t get it.  I very quickly experienced why and this was some of the best advice I was given to help keep me on the sober path.

Even now whenever I have to do something that I think is going to be hard for me or a sober ‘first’ I make sure I have a sober treat lined up afterwards.  If I don’t, and I experienced this at Christmas because I had forgotten and Belle had to remind me, I get this emotional hangover and feel all sh*tty and deprived and that makes me think about picking up a drink.  When in your drinking life your reward was wine you need to reward yourself in your non-drinking life for not rewarding  yourself with wine (if that make’s sense?!)

So sober treats can be anything, and should be personal to you.  For me my homework list said:

Chocolate
A magazine
Bubble bath
Flowers

As the days of not drinking have added up I have become a bit more extravagant in my treats.  So after Xmas I hit the sales and bought some clothes from a favourite shop and I have had things like massages too.  When I used to spend £400 a month on booze that leave’s a lot of readies to treat yourself with!  I have also tried to link my treats to my journey and have been using the time and my re-awakened creative skills to make things too, such as this.

What treats do you use that I could adopt? 😉

16 thoughts on “Sober treats

  1. I’ve been a bit lapse with my treats. I started off with chocolate and magazines every 2 days but I felt like a bit of a cheat as I only drank at weekends anyhow. The treats seemed pretty meaningless and were getting a bit too predictable. I need to rethink this. When to have them and what to have. I think I do need to go back to this because it’s all a bit samey now. Thanks for reminding me.

    1. Thank you ladies for all chiming in with your treat suggestions and comments. The one thing that I always now think to myself if I’m feeling a bit crabby is – have I had a treat? This is THE most valuable lesson for me from Belle 🙂

  2. Glass and fabric are two of my favorite non-food treats. And your post makes me think more about the topic. Magazines, yes. I, too, should probably refocus on these- you are right that they are absolutely essential! To remove the ‘treat’ of alcohol and not add something else back in is a guaranteed way to feel deprived. Flower are a good one. And clothing items. Perhaps I could also make a list of various house upgrades I want to do (Paint the ceiling of my studio coral?) and allocate these out as rewards also?

  3. At 186 days I’m still big on treats and like you they run from massages and pedicures to magazines or a pot of hyacinths to special teas and bath salts. I love them and don’t feel the least bit guilty. I earned them and I’m still earning them. Anything that feels indulgent feels like a great replacement for that never be just one glass of wine.

  4. This is a good reminder to stay with the treats and reward myself for the emerging better me. Thanks for the link to your 100 Day pillow. Great idea!
    Joyce

  5. I love the treats too! when Belle emailed me asking if I would like some homework I thought, oh no, she’s going to ask me to do some deep thinking, make lists of why I should be giving up drinking, all the bad things I’ve ever done because of drinking – kind of working my way through the excellent pre-giving up process you’ve been serialising here. which I rush to say I think is fantastic but would not have worked if imposed on me by someone else. No. It was buy yourself a little something every two days. Phew! My treats – chocolate, expensive coffee, earrings (arrived today!) fabric, books, having a cleaner for a couple of hours a week so I don’t have to clean the bathroom before I lie in my treaty bubblebath (golly!). Have also bought a big treat today as I unexpectedly have some money left in my bank account AT THE END OF BLOODY JANUARY. how the hell did that happen?! xx

    1. Primrose thank you for your kind words about my attempts to serialise the giving up drinking process 🙂 I just wanted to provide an online version of the great ‘smokefree’ booklet that the NHS provide if you give up smoking as no drinking equivalent exists to date.

  6. This made me smile as I have been treating myself to herbal teas, video games and software that I had been putting off until I could afford it!.
    It has been an eye opener seeing how much time and money I have left compared to when I was drinking! 🙂

  7. Thanks for this post. Gave me a few ideas like expensive coffee and hiring a cleaner. I have massages and facials planned for 10 day milestones. Also expensive tickets to shows. Pedicures seem to necessary for me to consider them a treat.

  8. Hi again, primrose just led me to this post of yours in a comment left on a recent post of mine. I think treats are the absolute KEY. I think one of the reasons I had such a horrible week last week, is because I was feeling sad, lonely and deprived. I sometimes go through days without spending money, purposely, in order to have money for things the kids need, etc. Well, I need to figure out a new plan. For me, just venturing out to seek out my treat and look for something I deserve starts making me feel better. Last night, I bought myself some flowers and a yummy fizzy juice (replacement) drink, and ate some fresh berries….thinking the whole time that I was treating myself bc I deserve GOOD and wonderful things:) thanks for the reminder:)

    1. How right you are Mallards4us Sober treats are our cornerstone in being kind to ourselves. No booze as a ‘treat’ any more so we need to self-care in a different way 🙂

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