Daily Archives: 07/04/2014

Angry Bird (s)

Yep we all know the game and I have spent many hours trying to improve my score on it and beat my kids at it.

As a drinker I could also be an angry ‘bird‘. I grew up around arguments as a child and so was pretty avoidant of any confrontations as I didn’t like them and they triggered negative memories and associations for me.  So I would swallow any angry feelings down with my booze and then when I reached trigger point would explode either whilst drinking or in the fog of a hangover the next day.  This just caused a cascade of guilt and shame on top of the anger and remorse and I would resolve to not behave like this again and then the cycle of the building of unexpressed emotions would start again.  I could be pretty passive-aggressive as a result.

If you want to do a good online test about anger go here.

If you struggle with anger either as part of your drinking, or as you try to moderate or stop, then once again those fab peeps at Mind have it covered.

Their tips for managing anger include:

  • Learn your triggers by keeping an anger diary so that you can identify patterns.  If you find it difficult to identify triggers you may need more professional help.
  • Look out for you physical warning signs.  For me I start to clench my jaw and get a radiating heat out from my stomach, what’s yours?
  • Try some calming techniques, like counting to ten, deep breathing or walking away.
  • Learn to be assertive and to express yourself verbally in an assertive way
  • Look at your lifestyle and see if you need to change anything such as exercise, sleep or causes of stress

I still get angry now but it is less often and I handle the feelings differently.  Now I feel that I am more assertive due to an increase in self-confidence and self-esteem and speak out before it reaches explosion point.  Happier Mr HOF and kids as I am less volatile as a result 🙂