Maybe it’s just me but since I stopped drinking I find myself reflecting on my past and what bought me to the here and now. Everything happens for a reason right?
And whenever I reflect I wonder about times that my drinking wasn’t a problem – like when I was pregnant. Now I’m not saying this as a joke because in the UK you can still have a drink during pregnancy whereas in many other countries they recommend not to.
So why is it, this wasn’t difficult for me? Was it because during the first three months you feel sick and the thought of wine makes you want to vomit? Did that 3 months almost count as a 100 day challenge and I just got used to it? Why could I have my one glass of wine on a Saturday night and not want to inhale the whole bottle? Was it because I knew that drinking more would be harmful to my on-board passenger? I do remember in my first pregnancy being very vigilant but with my second was a little more laissez-faire and I found it more difficult to give up the booze but of course I did.
I guess if I’m honest part of me is still wrestling with the idea of ‘forever’ and looking for chinks of hope to draw from in the past. Wolfie whispering ‘see you did it then and it wasn’t a problem. You could go a whole week and only have one glass on a Saturday night and that was fine’. I do remember being resentful that I could only have one, second pregnancy round.
I appreciate that this is a post of more questions than answers and maybe you want to chime in too? What’s your recollections and thoughts? I’d love to know 🙂