I love Short Cuts. Both the book by Raymond Carver and the Robert Altman film from the 1990’s if anyone else watched it. Interestingly he was an alcoholic so I’m not sure if his style of writing appealed to me because of that long before I realised I had a problem with booze.
I also love short cuts in life. If there is an easier and quicker way to do something then I’m all ears. It is part of my instant gratification no patience thing. Why re-invent the wheel right?
But the problem is that for me wine became a short cut for self care. It’s how it is painted in the media and advertising isn’t it. Hard day at work? Have a glass of wine. Need to unwind and reward yourself? Have a drink. But for me booze wasn’t self-care – it was actually a short cut to self-destruction. It’s taken me 45 years and 9 months without it to figure that out! And I prided myself on being a quick learner :s
And this is where the danger still lurks. The ‘just one glass?’ from friends and family when you are with them who don’t know or understand what downward spiral this would eventually unleash. It may not be that day or that week but it would come because as I have learned through all my moderation efforts and failures, one glass does not work for me and this kind of thinking is what keeps wolfie alive and well in my mind.
Some things there are no short cuts for and much though it pains me to admit this getting sober is one of them. The minute I go back to thinking that a glass of wine is self-care all of my hard work and struggles of the last 9 months will be undone. I have to be patient and have learned that there are other forms of self-care but I must be consistent in their application. I drank every day and I need to apply these new self-care strategies every day too. It is hard at first and I have to constantly remind myself but the minute I stop this wolfie pipes up.
I wish there was a short cut to getting sober and if there was I would be front of the queue! You can make it easier on yourself by finding a supportive recovery community to pick you up when you are faltering and by reading and learning about living booze free. The rest is then trial and error and time.
Does anyone have any good short cuts that would help me that I haven’t discovered yet?
67 days to go