Short Cuts

I love Short Cuts.  Both the book by Raymond Carver and the Robert Altman film from the 1990’s if anyone else watched it.  Interestingly he was an alcoholic so I’m not sure if his style of writing appealed to me because of that long before I realised I had a problem with booze.

I also love short cuts in life.  If there is an easier and quicker way to do something then I’m all ears.  It is part of my instant gratification no patience thing.  Why re-invent the wheel right?

But the problem is that for me wine became a short cut for self care.  It’s how it is painted in the media and advertising isn’t it.  Hard day at work?  Have a glass of wine.  Need to unwind and reward yourself?  Have a drink.  But for me booze wasn’t self-care – it was actually a short cut to self-destruction.  It’s taken me 45 years and 9 months without it to figure that out!  And I prided myself on being a quick learner :s

And this is where the danger still lurks.  The ‘just one glass?’ from friends and family when you are with them who don’t know or understand what downward spiral this would eventually unleash.  It may not be that day or that week but it would come because as I have learned through all my moderation efforts and failures, one glass does not work for me and this kind of thinking is what keeps wolfie alive and well in my mind.

Some things there are no short cuts for and much though it pains me to admit this getting sober is one of them.  The minute I go back to thinking that a glass of wine is self-care all of my hard work and struggles of the last 9 months will be undone.  I have to be patient and have learned that there are other forms of self-care but I must be consistent in their application.  I drank every day and I need to apply these new self-care strategies every day too.  It is hard at first and I have to constantly remind myself but the minute I stop this wolfie pipes up.

I wish there was a short cut to getting sober and if there was I would be front of the queue!  You can make it easier on yourself by finding a supportive recovery community to pick you up when you are faltering and by reading and learning about living booze free.  The rest is then trial and error and time.

Does anyone have any good short cuts that would help me that I haven’t discovered yet?

67 days to go

 

 

12 thoughts on “Short Cuts

  1. I still love Raymond Carver. I think I’m getting over my love of short cuts. Sometimes the long way around feels more enjoyable or easier. Being sober is for the long haul and the work happens in its own time anyway. Most definitely agree with your point about moderation. It’s a helpful reminder. Than you.

    1. Hey Kristen. I still love Raymond Carter too! :) Yep the tortoise not the hare wins this race to happiness doesn’t it?

  2. I definitely used wine in the same way – a short cut to relaxing, to feeling better, happier, different. Like many “short cuts”, I discovered that instead of ending up where I wanted to be quicker, I just got completely lost! I’m having to find different paths now, and sometimes I long for the quick ‘n’ easy solution, to just be done with this, to have it all sorted out. But it’s not the destination that counts, right? It’s the journey. And I’m on a more interesting road now, however long it takes. Am going to stop now before I get too tangled up in metaphor ;) xx

    1. I love that MTM! Short cuts do end up leaving you lost sometimes don’t they? If only there was a sober map to make it easier ;) xx

  3. If I ever find a short cut to sobriety I’ll be sure to share it with you ;) I have found that “slow and steady” works for me in all aspects of my life…too bad I didn’t apply that to my drinking. I’m just “Old School”…taking the long way instead of the short cut! xx

  4. I also used alcohol for my short cut- a really quick REALLY impulsive SHORT cut! One sign of a tricky situation- drink. One sad emotion- drink. One angry feeling- drink. Now, I DO feel like a tantrum throwing toddler (as Belle writes about) as I try to ride through these little meltdowns without alcohol.
    I agree with all your other comments here, as slow as the ‘walk’ is, it’s all in the journey. Reminds me of Belle’s posts lately about “just do it” and the reasons why we do it come later. What a lesson in patience! Congrats on your almost 100 days! You must be learning so much about yourself:) I’m interested to see what comes next for me….thanks for your post xo

    1. Hey mallards4us yep we need to take in the scenery on this walk, rather than trying to rush to the destination, as that’s where all the good stuff happens – even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time! xx

    1. Your comment is there – underneath today’s post I think. I made some suggestions including emailing you to share some reading materials! Great minds think alike, it would seem :) If it’s okay with you I’ll email you tomorrow afternoon.
      Here’s the comment reply Faith: It’s never just 12 days sober for us drinkers – that’s an achievement in itself! I found I had to switch up my routine so that I was doing different stuff and you need to treat yourself with some other thing that you like. For me it was going to the cinema, chocolate, cake, find some yummy non-alcoholic drinks, such as sparkling elderflower cordial. Reward yourself with other things instead of booze :) As for material I can email you some stuff to help (if you would like) and there are literally hundreds of great sober blogs to read! Let me know and keep going – it does get easier I promise!! xx PS The pause has taken me this long to master, but what worked in the early days was the 15 minute rule (http://ahangoverfreelife.com/2014/01/03/the-15-minute-rule/)

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