If we work to make every day better than the day before, imagine what our days will be like at the end of our lives.
This is a Simon Sinek quote and it isn’t the first of his I’ve posted up. I really like it and it makes me think so optimistically of the future.
When I was drinking it felt like the only way was down. Less control, less desire to control, brakes off rolling down the hill towards an almighty drunken, metaphorical or literal, car crash.
With almost 10 months sobriety under my belt it all feels better and upwards now. That difficult stuck phase of over-analyzing moderation has passed and I feel all ‘pink cloudy’ again. I’m working hard to make every day better than the last but am finding it’s improving with very little deliberate effort. Moods are so much more level, which means relationships with everyone, but particularly MrHOF and the kids are massively easier and feel all round kinder.
In the past I often felt a slave to my emotions and I would argue and justify that they drove me to drink if only to forget. Early sobriety was an emotional smorgasbord and I felt all over the place but now when an ’emotional hijacking’ is in the offing I have found a way to pause. This has been one of the biggest learns and positive change rewards of this whole process.
Looking back I cannot believe that I stayed trapped in the drinking hamster wheel for as long as I did and oh how I wish that I had trusted myself to know that I would be okay without alcohol before I did. It matters not, as I’ve done it now and I am so bloody proud of myself and MrHOF.
65 days to go