Upward spiral of positive change

If we work to make every day better than the day before, imagine what our days will be like at the end of our lives.

This is a Simon Sinek quote and it isn’t the first of his I’ve posted up.  I really like it and it makes me think so optimistically of the future.

When I was drinking it felt like the only way was down.  Less control, less desire to control, brakes off rolling down the hill towards an almighty drunken, metaphorical or literal, car crash.

With almost 10 months sobriety under my belt it all feels better and upwards now.  That difficult stuck phase of over-analyzing moderation has passed and I feel all ‘pink cloudy’ again.  I’m working hard to make every day better than the last but am finding it’s improving with very little deliberate effort.  Moods are so much more level, which means relationships with everyone, but particularly MrHOF and the kids are massively easier and feel all round kinder.

In the past I often felt a slave to my emotions and I would argue and justify that they drove me to drink if only to forget.  Early sobriety was an emotional smorgasbord and I felt all over the place but now when an ‘emotional hijacking’ is in the offing I have found a way to pause.  This has been one of the biggest learns and positive change rewards of this whole process.

Looking back I cannot believe that I stayed trapped in the drinking hamster wheel for as long as I did and oh how I wish that I had trusted myself to know that I would be okay without alcohol before I did.  It matters not, as I’ve done it now and I am so bloody proud of myself and MrHOF.

Day 300! :)

65 days to go

 

 

22 thoughts on “Upward spiral of positive change

  1. I’m at 353 to go how do you pause. I’m sort of coping and have adopted the attitude I don’t drink not Im trying to give up. I’ve even managed two visits to the pub with my daughter both of us having soft drinks. But I find socialising hard it seems boring without a drink, will that improve. Help.

    1. Hey Faith. Just so I understand you – are you at 12 days sober? Firstly if I’ve read that wrong I apologise! If that is the case then congrats on 12 days and 2 visits to the pub in that time is brave!! Socialising without a drink does get easier but it takes time. Probably not what you wanted to hear but there isn’t really a way to shortcut it and I steered clear of any social setting where the primary focus was drink as that made it less difficult for me to manage :)

  2. How did you know I needed to hear JUST THIS today? Smile. Thank you. And congrats on 300 days, amazing and so awesome. I’m in the early stages of emotional craziness, and now I know why relapse is so common in the first 90 days. It’s HARD to sit and ride with these emotions. Part of me feels interested and excited to see what emotion I can ride through next (sober), but when I start to feel overwhelmed and crazy…I’m not so excited anymore. I guess the answer is just trying to ride it out and see what comes next. Period. I already see lots of positives, but it’s truly a whole new world. Thanks for sharing the hope:) xo

  3. Congratulations on 300 days. Super rad. I love that quote…it seems so much more manageable to try to make each day a little better than the day before, rather than stressing over “fixing” everything all at once. Great attitude, Lucy! I am happy to watch you flourishing in sobriety. xo

  4. I love, love, love this post and can relate to everything you say! Congratulations, Lou!!! You have so much to be proud of. :) Thanks for helping me navigate this new world called sobriety. It’s a lot nicer than I thought it would be. ;) All the best to you and Mr. HOF! xoxo

  5. Hi Lucy thanks for the advice, yes it’s just 12 days sober but I can feel the difference being more alert. I find it’s the weekends at home that are hard my husband works silly hours so the weekends is usually kick back time with wine. He can stop at two drinks definitely not so for me. Suddenly the programmes we watch seem less interesting and sitting still with tea or squash just isn’t the same. Guess I’m just going to have to wait for the 90 days to pass and hope my viewpoint will have changed. Any ideas on material or sites to help. And so impressed with 300 days well done. :)

    1. It’s never just 12 days sober for us drinkers – that’s an achievement in itself! I found I had to switch up my routine so that I was doing different stuff and you need to treat yourself with some other thing that you like. For me it was going to the cinema, chocolate, cake, find some yummy non-alcoholic drinks, such as sparkling elderflower cordial. Reward yourself with other things instead of booze :) As for material I can email you some stuff to help (if you would like) and there are literally hundreds of great sober blogs to read! Let me know and keep going – it does get easier I promise!! xx PS The pause has taken me this long to master, but what worked in the early days was the 15 minute rule (http://ahangoverfreelife.com/2014/01/03/the-15-minute-rule/)

  6. Yeah. Why did that wheel seem like such a safe place???
    I don’t know either, but I am also learning to enjoy each day as it comes, good or less good! Because they are all easier to deL with sober.

    1. Who knows Anne – for me fear I guess, fear of change. And you are so right – they are easier to deal with sober :)

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