Boy I am missing my ‘Friends’ sugar and sweetness in my life right now 😉
So I began to write daily notes of the experience and to compare and contrast it stopping with drinking. Turns out for me it’s much the same it would seem!
Day1: Was looking for excuses to cave. Went to Cash & Carry in day and spent ages deliberating over whether to buy a HUGE bar of 70% dark chocolate (told myself it was for cooking!). Resisted. On way home thought about taking kids to MaccyD’s – dressed up as a treat for them but just as much for me. Can’t have sugar – how about a shed load of processed food instead? Didn’t. Started to feel itchy in my skin around 16.45 – just like with booze. Wasn’t hungry, it was almost like an emotional itch I felt the need to scratch. Not sure why. Ate 3 Davina digestive biscuits. Same squirrelly feeling appeared at 20.50 but think it was because kids were up late due to half term and we hadn’t eaten so was hungry. Ate a sugar free mint before bed too?!
Day 2: No honey on my toast so had to resist the automatic reach into the cupboard for the jar! Random snacking on Davina’s digestives again today – one at 14.00, 17.00 and 22.30. Don’t know if it’s because I was having sugar lows as finished up home-made white raisin bread post run and had late lunch of poached egg and white muffin. Having substance relapse fantasies in the evening while trying to meditate as have booked tickets for SW4 event in August and this will be the first big gig with no booze or drugs. Was this because of no sugar or would I have had them anyway? Another sugar free mint eaten before bed – hangover from nicotine lozenge days I reckon.
Day 3: Had to really resist the Chinese New Year ready meal selection in Saino’s today and if my son hadn’t been with me and been reinforcing the rules I think I would have caved!! Really tied in with idea of treating myself and felt very deprived when I walked away from the chiller. Bought fresh baby vegetables to include in home-made thai green curry instead. Very late lunch and 1 of Davina’s digestives went in my mouth again afterwards. Baked a batch of her flapjacks and couldn’t help but lick the spoon! Really struggled early evening. Grouchy and shouty with the kids, tried to do a balance meditation to restore some equanimity but failed miserably as feel so emotionally out of balance! Gah am not enjoying this one bit 🙁
Day 4: Slightly easier day to day. Only had 1 Davina digestive and 1 flapjack as after lunch and mid afternoon snack. The flapjacks are very sweet and very filling so you wouldn’t want to eat too many of them in one sitting! Didn’t struggle anywhere near as much as yesterday and wasn’t even looking for ways to cheat 🙂
Day 5: Easier again today as my taste-buds become accustomed to less sugar. Big test of the day was the local village tea which is usually a smorgasbord of cakes and this month was no exception! Had very late lunch of pitta pizzas and then a Davina flapjack before I went so that I didn’t feel deprived. Hmm sounds like strategies learned from other substances ….. 😉
Day 6: Craving MaccyD’s again today but polished my halo and had California rolls instead! Plus as was volunteering today planned ahead and took a Davina flapjack with me. Again shades of other hangover free learned strategies coming through. Had some potentially good news so was fidgety in the evening with anticipatory anxiety and wanted to mark the occasion with a treat and felt stumped as couldn’t go for my tried and tested chocolate 🙁
Day 7: Easier today. No cravings as such but did eat 1 Davina flapjack after a late lunch and another one after dinner at about 9pm. Plus I’ve discovered Ricola Sugar Free Swiss Herbal Sweets that are sweetened with Stevia. Am I allowed these? 😉 Overall I’m really pleased with how I’ve done on this first week. Thursday will be the big test – nerves pre-presentation at uni and then post presentation relief/euphoria and no salve for those emotions ……
PS If any of you would like to join me to see Faithless and Fat Boy Slim at the SW4 festival over August Bank Holiday and keep me sober company that would be ace. Tickets are still available I believe 🙂