Now this man can be my sugar daddy any day 😉
Weds – More baking today and getting brave! Going off-piste with the next batch of flapjacks and granola! More and different dried fruit used – apricots in flapjacks and raisins in granola (at kids request). Getting through a LOT of honey!! 😉 As for what went in my mouth today, 2 flapjacks and 1 powerball! Err make that 2 powerballs as another one found it’s way in before bed ……
Thurs – Didn’t crack! Spent day in well known chain of coffee shops where there was an array of sweet temptations on display. Did have a cheese and ham toastie on contraband white bread but that was it plus snuck in home-made flapjacks to snarf 😉 Last night had a powerball or two as a reward. Took forethought and planning but is possible.
Fri – amazing to watch my thinking today. Emotional drama going on and feeling very ‘f*ck it’. Daisy had this brilliant e-card on her blog that said ‘I’m too sober for this shit’ and yep that was me today! Did fantasize about falling into a vat of chocolate – held firm and the feeling passed. Had the lovely avocado and poached egg on toast for lunch with a flapjack chaser and yes again at 5.30 another powerball found it’s way in. I must get a sugar slump about then I reckon … and another powerball about 10pm. Really struggling tonight – 17 days in and I’d like it to be over right now 🙁
Sat – it’s definitely a week-end thing that I get bent out of shape about feeling deprived. Took the kids to the park as it was such a beautiful day and they wanted ice-creams so as we weren’t at home we duly obliged. But we couldn’t have anything – and yes I did skulk round the shop looking for some dark chocolate that I could try to get past MrHOF as acceptable!! Went home and had flapjack with cup of tea and feeling passed. Powerball after dinner and later on though just wanted something to pick at – almost mindlessly. It’s like it’s a way to switch off – just like booze used to be ……
Sun – didn’t think about sugar all day. Had a flapjack after an early dinner and then went to a meeting where I successfully dodged the biscuits and cakes on the table in front of me. Came home and had one powerball and then another one before bed! Running low on flapjacks and powerballs and need to make some more quick!
Mon – volunteering day. Like last week took flapjack in with me so wasn’t tempted. Ate this and a couple of powerballs in the evening. Felt like an uneventful day although I do find myself getting anxious when the last one is eaten and there is no more in the house. A lot like I used to with booze – that fear of running out!
Tues – stressy day as me and the printer had a falling out on the day that I needed to print all of my Cambridge coursework ready to hand in on Thursday. Arghhhh! Had one flapjack in the house and cooking up some more has become priority number one for tomorrow. Going out tonight for wedding anniversary and feeling wobbly and that a relapse is on the cards ….. or being more honest with you and myself, I’m looking for a reason to fall off the wagon as I’m feeling deprived!
PS Plus heads up about the Sounds True Self-Acceptance Project! Tommy Rosen emailed out about this and I subscribed and it is REALLY good. In their words:
In this FREE online video event series, Tami Simon speaks with several contemporary luminaries in the fields of spirituality, psychology, and creativity to explore insights and practices for living with a sense of your own fundamental worthiness. The entire series is yours to keep and enjoy.
I’ve listened to the first one with Dr Kristen Neff which is excellent and I am very excited about some later recordings when Tami interviews two people I really admire and respect – Brene Brown and Tara Brach. Plus their website has lots of good courses relating to self-compassion and mindfulness including Eckhart Tolle. It is a veritable treasure chest of goodies and the timing was perfect as the sugar free detox had awakened my inner critic!!
Go here if you’d like to subscribe: http://live.soundstrue.com/selfacceptance/