18 months alcohol free today

So another milestoneΒ  – 18 months alcohol free today.Β  That’s 589 days or 13410 hours or an even more ridiculously large number in minutes and then seconds so I’ll stop there! πŸ˜‰

Can you tell I’m happy about this?Β  There are two big learns from the last few months that I’ve noticed:

  1. The symptom of PAWS are all but gone.Β  Yes I kid you not – I noticed not their presence but their absence.Β  Life just feels less emotionally erratic and more mentally balanced.Β  I still have my moments – in the only way that a women can (thanks universe) but apart from that I am most of the time on an even emotional keel and almost sane.Β  Hallelujah says Mr HOF and the HOFlets!!
  2. I had my first major social success a few weeks back.Β  We were going to a family party where drinking was the main focus, with a bit of cake thrown in for good measure.Β  First one in a good six months.Β  I was more anxious about being triggered about smoking than drinking which was an odd realisation in itself.Β  I took my alcohol free drink and when I got there I did not ONCE feel deprived. I wasn’t interested in what others were drinking and was completely unphased by being surrounded by people on the lash. In fact one lady who was, I’m guessing, slightly older than me was making a real t*t of herself quite early on and I thought ‘god that would have been me and thank god it’s not anymore …..’.Β  This feels like such a major shift in my thinking and makes me confident that I can keep going, that I can keep doing this and will just be my way of living in the world from here.

Why am I sharing this?Β  For all of you reading this who wonder if you can live your life happily without booze I can tell you the answer is a resounding YES.Β  Can it become ‘your’ normal?Β  YES and double YES.Β  No one queried me about my drinking, it’s something I just don’t do anymore and it is just the most LIBERATING feeling in the world when I look back at how small my world had become when I was drinking.Β  I spent an evening with family and friends, chatted to people, celebrated the occasion, left when the kids were tired and woke up the next morning remembering everything, feeling tired but NO HANGOVER and no fear over whether I had (yet again) made an arse of myself.Β  God that never gets old πŸ˜‰

And you can have it too πŸ™‚Β  If you don’t think you can, believe me when I say this can be yours too.Β  If you don’t feel confident, reach out for help either here online or in real life.Β  I wanted to be the best person that I could be for myself and my family and for me that meant freeing myself from booze.Β  I want you to be the best version of yourself too and if I can help you with that just ask ……..

I’ll close out today with the lovely Steve Coogan – a fellow sober Brightonian and my sober defiance song πŸ˜‰

steve coogan

46 thoughts on “18 months alcohol free today

  1. Awesome Lucy!
    I am making a shift too.
    It’s such a great feeling!!
    Peace and hugs!

  2. Congratulations to you. How very awesome. I’m 20 days short of a year and most certainly am swimming in calmer waters. Keep up the great sober work. Xx

    1. Thanks Mrs S for reading and commenting on my blog! Congrats on your 345 days too!! I’ll keep going if you keep going πŸ˜‰ xx

  3. Congratulations Lucy! 18 months, and feeling comfortable with ii is fantastic. I am getting there, 476 myself. Working through some stuff, at least I am sober enough to know it is there and needs work!
    Keep up the great work!

  4. Hooray! πŸ˜€ when you posted about Mr HOF at 18 months I knew you weren’t too far behind! How encouraging to know PAWS has left you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us all, you’re an inspiration…. Monday will be 300 days for me; don’t think I would have made it this far without the awesome sober online community! Congrats! xx

    1. Thanks Lori! And huge congrats on your 300 days on Monday πŸ™‚ Sober treat? πŸ˜‰ xx

  5. πŸ™‚ Congratulations Lucy. I am happy for you and your HOF tribe. πŸ™‚ For me the ranting and anger are sort of gone, I’ve seen some examples of that from other people and that has really made me think about my behaviour. But still, making promises about behaviour is too much pressure. I’m guessing that means that a lot of determination and attention is still on the not drinking – even though I feel I am letting go a little there. Or maybe shifting more to living clear which ‘only’ includes being sober.
    I have come to the point where I can’t be bothered what other people drink. I just leave when I don’t feel connected anymore. I think it must take my arrogance to say that not I have become boring but drinking people are boring. :-). Arrogance yes, still there, but I start to sometimes know about it now. As I start to learn about conjuring up the self-flaggalation and self-depressing thoughts too. With the extreme emotions: I think I am finding I create them to be ‘not in the moment’ – exactly like drinking. The moment would mostly teach that I am powerless towards something that is happening – we can’t have that, now can we…. ;-). I’ve once read that ‘stress-junkies’ create extreme emotions too. Well, working on it….

    Well, have a very nice sober weekend! Btw: did you get yourself a sober aniversary gift?

    xx, Feeling

    1. Thanks feeling! I’m happy that you are seeing and working on the things that still trouble you – that’s all any of us can do. As for a sober gift – a years subscription to Headspace https://www.headspace.com/ – working on those extreme emotions too πŸ˜‰ xx

      1. Thanks πŸ™‚ Maybe you could treat yourself to it too with your first pay check? πŸ˜‰

      2. Ghegheghe… yeah, well, I think I’m going to the sauna when I’m through my probation time.
        I was meaning to ask: how is / did your sugar free time go? I quit this week somewhere. Bowels seem to be functioning so kilo’s were litterally flying onto me (eating 100g of chocolate a day will not have helped either….)

      3. Fair enough feeling πŸ™‚ Still doing sugar thing as doesn’t finish until Good Friday ….. going okay but looking forward to the end πŸ˜‰

      4. And, how are your kids doing? Will they be binge eating on sweets or? I am very curious how they will feel when they would do that. Oooooh, cool! You can tape them before and after… πŸ˜€ Ghegheghe, could be very informative. Or get regular bloodsugar level readings between now and then and see if they change.

      5. The kids are doing good actually πŸ™‚ My daughter is finding it a little tougher than my son I think but they’ve adapted pretty well. We’re going to try and not let them not binge but over Easter it’s going to be hard as they will be given a ton of eggs (but not from us!)

      6. I just asked my son and he says he does concentrate better at school πŸ™‚

      7. Cool :-). I pushed the send button and then walked away with ‘Yeah, Feeling, this kid is going to come back from school saying: ‘Dear Mother, the sugarfree diet we have been attempting now really shows its worth. I will from here on be assuming that my mental stability has improved mightely due to your culinairy prowess. As did my focus. Schoolwork has become such a overwhelmingly blissful experience. I thank thee with with all of my youthfull heart’

        Or so… πŸ™‚

      8. πŸ˜€ I hadn’t even asked them feeling so thanks for the prompt! πŸ˜‰

  6. Congratulations, Lou! Great post today and awesome sober defiance song! I’ve been using the Headspace app for a few months and I really like it. I’m by no means a Zen master, but it has helped me learn to start disengaging from minor daily drama, and that’s been great. My husband actually commented on my calmer demeanor, and he’s not one to notice such things! Plus I love Andy’s soothing voice. Ahhhhhh…. Enjoy! πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks Julie πŸ™‚ Gotta love a bit of Armand Van Helden πŸ˜‰ Showing my raving roots – Armand Van Helden vs Fat Boy Slim A Date with Destiny Brixton Academy 1999 I was there https://youtu.be/US3Y0sz7iV4 πŸ˜€ Been using Headspace for a month and it is definitely helping and yes Andy’s voice is lovely isn’t it? *swoon* πŸ™‚

  7. Congrats on your 18 month anniversary! I am shy of my one year anniversary, day 328 for me! You have helped me get here! Thank you!

    1. Welles Congrats on 328 days!! Thank you too and happy to be on the journey with you πŸ™‚

  8. Hip hip hurrah for 18 months and for disappearing PAWS – great to hear as I follow in your footsteps! Well done on sober being the new normal AND for spreading the message that that is possible! Xxx

    1. Thanks Prim πŸ™‚ It does go I promise, although it did reappear for the last week or so – as you know! πŸ˜‰ xx

  9. Wonderful achievement xxxx You have done so much to help others as well as yourself. Hope you are doing something to celebrate πŸ™‚

    1. Thanks Kim πŸ™‚ Just cooked a mac and cheese and a new batch of powerballs! πŸ˜‰ xx

  10. Fantastic Lucy! I read your blog every day and I’m a huge fan. Still having problems on weekends here so will be taking some inspiration from your post. I’ll get there one day.

    1. Hey captainbarrie! Thanks for reading and commenting on my blog πŸ™‚ Keep at it – you’ll crack it when you’re ready.

      1. Thanks Lucy – I’m going to have another look at the Udemy course but any help you are able to offer is appreciated. Stopped being a member of Soberistas because it wasn’t helping me anymore. In the early days I did 145 days AF but the boredom put an end to that.

      2. Captain Barrie 145 days was a great success for you to build on this time! There is a one-on-one consultation included in the Udemy course so we can talk more during that if you’d like πŸ™‚

  11. Hi Lucy, just catching up. Congrats on 18 months- what an inspirational post to mark it with too. The change is so gradual you don’t notice it leaving until one day suddenly you notice it has left the building but you can’t pin point when. If that makes sense!!
    Well done on everything you have achieved to date. Rx

    (ps what’s PAWS?, I’m guessing an acronym for….panic, anxiety, wanting sugar?)

    1. Hey sobermanpower (nice name!) Thanks for reading, commenting on and complimenting my blog. Thank you πŸ™‚

  12. Just wanted to say I am absolutely loving your blog and thank you so much for sharing your journey, it is a massive help. I only started reading it yesterday so hope I find a lot more inspiration and answers to some of the problems I am coming across! I am on day 92 and to be honest feel like I am still waiting to turn some magical corner and for things to fit in place. Thank you one again

    1. Hey Minny! Thank you so much for your kind words and congrats at 92 days sober πŸ™‚ I promise that if you keep going that magical corner will appear πŸ˜‰

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