Daily Archives: 01/05/2015

Brene Brown on Blame

blame

Another cracking RSA Short featuring the voice of Brene Brown looking at blame 🙂

I am definitely a blamer.  I’m reminded of that expression that ‘when you point your finger at someone else there are three fingers pointing back at you’  ……

blame finger

But why should we give it up? In this witty sequel to our most watched RSA Short, inspirational thinker Brené Brown considers why we blame others, how it sabotages our relationships, and why we desperately need to move beyond this toxic behaviour.

God this is an enormous issue even for me now.  I may have got beyond much of my shame but growing up blame was the biggest motivator in our house.  It was someone, other than the person who was responsible for it, who felt the finger of blame.

I have become very conscious of blame talk in our house and yes it is something that kid’s do a lot if they think they are in trouble!!  That said it has been role-modeled to them by us too so we have to hold ourselves accountable for our part.

And it’s interesting that I get into that very rigid all or nothing black and white thinking when I think about this subject and I’ve just had to delete 2 other uses of the word always in this post.  I become defensive even talking about blame!!

As a born people-pleaser cough co-dependent I was used to taking responsibility and felt like the resident scape-goat much of the time.  Equally when angered, and because of this martyr complex, I would throw blame around and at others with wild abandon.

None of this is very pretty stuff which is why it’s so important to talk about it.  We’ve been working on this issue in this household for a while but it still creeps in when our emotional lids are flipped

I feel like shame and blame have to be worked on together as one leads to the other and therefore the way out of feeling badly about ourselves involves empathy and compassion shown towards both of these feelings and behaviours of ourselves.  What do you think?