Project Mayhem & Shame Club

So this post started out as a text conversation between Daisy and myself.  We were talking about shame and I joked that the first rule of shame club is know your triggers as advocated by shame researcher and expert Brene Brown and discussed in this post here.

So this got me thinking about Fight Club, and the premise of Project Mayhem, a film that I loved both for the idea and the acting cast.  What’s not to like with Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter and I discussed this film in the very early days of my sober journey in a post called bottle fatigue.

I think there is a connection between shame and fight club.  As described on Wikithe violence of the fight clubs serves not to promote or glorify physical combat, but for participants to experience feeling in a society where they are otherwise numb‘ and Pitt said, “Fight Club is a metaphor for the need to push through the walls we put around ourselves and just go for it“.  For me this resonates with the journey to free ourselves from shame and live authentically and wholeheartedly.

Project Mayhem & Shame Club
You’re not the contents of your glass

So I’m going to co-opt the rules of Fight Club and rewrite them for Shame Club, which in the same way that Project Mayhem was anti-materialist and anti-corporate, is actually anti-shame.

1st RULE: You TALK about SHAME.
2nd RULE: Know your triggers.
3rd RULE: Reach out to someone you trust.
4th RULE: Only two in a shame share.
5th RULE: One shame share at a time.
6th RULE: Share your story – no holding back, no blame.
7th RULE: Shame shares will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at SHAME CLUB, you HAVE to share.

I love the anarchic idea of subverting the stiff upper lip and keep up with the Jones’ mentality and replacing it with authenticity, vulnerability and compassion.  Project mayhem becomes about how we feel not what we own (or in our case drink)  just as Tyler Durden envisioned it! 🙂

Which leaves just time for one gratuitous image of Brad Pitt in Fight Club 😉

fight club soap

6 thoughts on “Project Mayhem & Shame Club

  1. Shame, yeah, practising letting it out currently in conversations concerning finances, looking for work etc. And while I do now speak what I am ashamed about I still can’t find the tone where I actually own it. 🙂

    I’m still at rule 0: recognise shame. I tend to want to deny it and hmmm, blame others e.g. :-/

    When the tax refund comes I’m thinking Brené Brown’s book is the first on the list. 🙂

    xx, Feeling

  2. brilliant concept Lou – I love it! breaking down those walls around ourselves one brick at a time, together. hope course went well today! xx

    1. Thanks Prim 🙂 Course went really well and lots of shame was shared! xx

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