Daily Archives: 06/07/2015

We Don’t Cry Because We’re Sad

It’s a while since I’ve featured a Jason Silva Shots of Awe video but I saw this one recently and was moved to tears just watching it.  He quotes Alain de Botton and the video focuses on the fact that we don’t cry because we’re sad.

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I’ll let you watch it first and then I’ll share my thoughts 🙂

I love this video and the surrounding discussion about how tears are to correct an imbalance – a cognitive dissonance between what we expected and what we actually found.  Because what you found was more conducive to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.  The serendipity of melancholy.  That something is so much more moving than you thought it would be.  These moments that define our lives, pregnant with significance, revelatory ecstasy.

When I stopped drinking my eyes became taps.  Years of stifled sadness and unexpressed grief sprang forth like I’d sprung a leak.  I hated it because I’d spent years drinking to stop it from happening and nothing shamed me more than getting tired and emotional and sobbing all over someone in a drunken heap.  But it was vital and healing and necessary.  I cry now so easily – at music, at films, at others words, at my own failings and humanness.

Tears are so important and the shame I carried about expressing sadness and crying, particularly publicly, was crippling.  What’s wrong with expressing that something is more moving than you thought it would be?  The imbalance between the barren tearless drunk or hungover past and the often moist eyed sober present needed addressing.  No wonder I sprang a leak!!  Getting sober is a life defining moment, pregnant with significance so who wouldn’t cry?  And the ongoing revelatory ecstasy continues to reduce me to tears but now I feel no shame just a deep happiness that I am here and feeling and expressing it all with you 🙂