So this is an acknowledgement that temptation has been on my mind the last few weeks and I have had some wobbly moments.
I fessed up to Prim on email recently to be accountable. Background info is that I started a new job last week and in less than 2 weeks time we move house! I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed and found myself buying chocolates that had been reduced in the supermarket. So far no biggie. But then I found myself deliberately looking out for the flavours that were alcohol inspired so champagne truffle and the amaretto based one. And the thought accompanying eating them was ‘oh how nice it would be to have the real thing’ ……. Notice twice there I wrote ‘found myself’ – suggesting reverting to old habits without conscious choice.
And then me and MrHOF were discussing moving stuff including the alcohol we still have!! Why do we still have it? I hate waste and when we stopped drinking we moved it all into the garage and have gifted it away as opportunities have arisen. But we still have quite a stock – including champagne, port, whisky, wine of all colours, Pimms and Disaronno (why do I feel the need to list them?). And the thought goes through my head – but I like champagne and Amaretto ….. and there was a fleeting sadness. *Alarm bells were now ringing loudly in my head*
To be clear I did not drink and have no intention to but this is the first time in a LONG time I have had these kind of thoughts. I knew that this was going to be a tricky time and had flagged it to myself and others, even joking during the relapse management part of my ‘How to Quit’ workshop recently that I needed to revisit my own relapse prevention plan because of these upcoming major life events!
Anyway the booze stash has been carved up and dolled out to those helping us move. Chocolate is being inhaled as necessary and the feeling has passed. So it’s a Friday night and booze can seem like a shimmering mirage in a desert as if heaven sent 😉 But stay strong and the temptation will pass 😀
That said I will not be about as much over the next few weeks as I need to reduce the stress levels to ensure I stay sure footed. Blog posts will appear but I may take a while to respond to comments and my activity on other blogs may dip even further. Normal service should be restored once we get into the second half of August and all packing and unpacking of boxes has ceased!