Friday Sober Jukebox – temptation

So this is an acknowledgement that temptation has been on my mind the last few weeks and I have had some wobbly moments.

Temptation

I fessed up to Prim on email recently to be accountable.  Background info is that I started a new job last week and in less than 2 weeks time we move house!  I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed and found myself buying chocolates that had been reduced in the supermarket.  So far no biggie.  But then I found myself deliberately looking out for the flavours that were alcohol inspired so champagne truffle and the amaretto based one.  And the thought accompanying eating them was ‘oh how nice it would be to have the real thing’ …….  Notice twice there I wrote ‘found myself’ – suggesting reverting to old habits without conscious choice.

And then me and MrHOF were discussing moving stuff including the alcohol we still have!!  Why do we still have it?  I hate waste and  when we stopped drinking we moved it all into the garage and have gifted it away as opportunities have arisen.  But we still have quite a stock – including champagne, port, whisky, wine of all colours, Pimms and Disaronno (why do I feel the need to list them?).  And the thought goes through my head – but I like champagne and Amaretto ….. and there was a fleeting sadness.  *Alarm bells were now ringing loudly in my head*

To be clear I did not drink and have no intention to but this is the first time in a LONG time I have had these kind of thoughts.  I knew that this was going to be a tricky time and had flagged it to myself and others, even joking during the relapse management part of my ‘How to Quit’ workshop recently that I needed to revisit my own relapse prevention plan because of these upcoming major life events!

Anyway the booze stash has been carved up and dolled out to those helping us move.  Chocolate is being inhaled as necessary and the feeling has passed.  So it’s a Friday night and booze can seem like a shimmering mirage in a desert as if heaven sent 😉  But stay strong and the temptation will pass 😀

That said I will not be about as much over the next few weeks as I need to reduce the stress levels to ensure I stay sure footed.  Blog posts will appear but I may take a while to respond to comments and my activity on other blogs may dip even further.  Normal service should be restored once we get into the second half of August and all packing and unpacking of boxes has ceased!

10 thoughts on “Friday Sober Jukebox – temptation

  1. Sorry to hear that your life changes gave you trouble. HAPPY however that you found your way of dealing with it. 🙂 Thank you for writing about this, it reminds me how cunning addiction is. Many hugs.
    xx, Feeling

    1. Nothing like a bit of stress to test our resolve Feeling hey? Glad I’m coming up almost 2 years and now I understand why they say no big changes in the early weeks and months as it can easily derail you! Thank you for the hugs xx

  2. Sounds like a stressful time, Lou, and I can understand the temptation! Good luck with the move and thanks for the post about Michael Singer. The video was helpful and I have the book on hold at the library. 🙂 All the best to you on two exciting new endeavors!

    1. It’s so easy to be swayed when our defences are down Julie. I hope you enjoy the book – I thought it was a stunner myself 🙂

  3. Wow, stressful stuff, new job AND moving! Sending you a strong serenity hug 😉 xx

  4. Hi Lou – it sounds like you have got a very busy stressful time ahead so am glad you have flagged it up to yourself. I got a lot from that post – even though you are so far down the sober road you still have moments of temptation and sadness.I think its tough for you as you are someone we look up to as a shining example of how to give up drinking . I love you’re honesty as I often have sadness and temptation but am working on acceptance that maybe that will always happen and I have to learn to live we that. I had my sober treat posh lunch yesterday for not drinking on my recent girls holiday which was gorgeous. I did look at everyone drinking wishing it was me for a little while but then it passed. I mentioned it to my husband and he said ” you are only human and not a robot ” I think we need to remember that ! Lots of love x

    1. Hey May So glad that you had a lovely meal to celebrate! As you say we are but human and despite having almost 2 years sobriety under my belt you stack a couple of very stressful life events on top of each other and I’ll wobble too 🙂 Went to see ‘Inside Out’ with my kids on Friday and the take-away message of the film is that even happy moments are tinged with sadness sometimes and that’s normal and okay. I took heart from that and your meals out without wine will get easier as time goes by xx

  5. Hi Lucy
    Hope you are settling into your new house and that the “new job stress” is receding!
    Well done for getting rid of all that booze in the garage – can’t have been easy!
    bon courage!
    janet xx

    1. Salut Janet! Still moving but new job was okay. Yes all the booze is almost gone and to households who were happy to receive!! Merci 🙂 xx

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