Daily Archives: 15/08/2015

Emotional sobriety

So another great speaker on Tommy Rosen’s 2.0 Recovery conference has me reaching for the keyboard!  This time he was interviewing Tian Dayton about emotional sobriety and as I’ve said before here this seems to be the focus of my growth right now.

Emotional sobriety

She summarised so beautifully the issues that I’m struggling with now that drink isn’t the pre-occupying thought.  They are self-regulation and emotional literacy.  BAM.  Just like that in one sentence there it was.  I drank to regulate my moods and to quash all emotions so no wonder I struggle with these now!  The self-regulation lack is part of the co-dependency issue as an adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA) which she talks about.  How we swing wildly from numbness to over-reacting as part of our black and white thinking.  0 or 10 but no 4,5 or 6.

And the emotional literacy that Prim’s post highlighted so brilliantly here and that I fail to exhibit most of the time because it is so nuanced and I don’t  yet have the emotional depth of vocabulary …..

But that’s okay as recovery happens in stages.  As Tian says ‘let your wounds lead you but don’t fall in love with them’.  Let go of the maladaptive strategies you used to stay safe.  Make an active choice not to use these strategies because we are not a victim we are a journeyer and this is part of the journey 🙂

She also shared a link to a new website she has developed called innerlook.com, a community for emotional growth and exploration, which is still in beta but looks really interesting.  I’ve registered and will be interested to see how it develops!

So what are your thoughts about all of this?  Does this resonate with you too?