Self-actualization & 2 years alcohol free

In pursuit of self-actualization – that is my journey now

Patrick at Spiritual River (thank you Prim!) shared these excellent insights into recovery:

  • Recovery is about personal growth.
  • Reaching out to help others,  gratitude and exercise are KEY.
  • The moment right before a relapse, gratitude is no longer present. If it was, it would have prevented the relapse all by itself. Be grateful, every single day, for anything and everything.
  • There are a whole bunch of people who stay sober through exercise alone.
  • Personal growth, pursuing greater health, and helping others.
  • Most alcoholics can benefit greatly from simply learning how to identify an emotion or feeling and simply learning to accept it for what it is rather than to try and fight it or medicate.
  • Experimentation is key. Be ready to learn about yourself and how recovery works best for you.
  • This is addiction. It is the constant pursuit of that perfect high, and stubbornly hanging on to the memory of it, while turning up your nose at normal ways of having fun.
  • Bottom line is this: you get clean and sober, and stick it out for a while, and normal “life” starts getting fun again. Believe it or not, life gets good again. And fun again. But it takes time, and part of this is the learning process, and allowing room for experimentation in our lives.
  • I say you have to keep pushing yourself to create an awesome life for yourself, one in which you help others with your personal strengths.
  • Everybody wins when you push yourself to reach out to others in a way that is unique to you. This is a huge part of finding your path in recovery.
  • Take your purpose in recovery and turn it into a vision for the future. What does that mean? It means that you can have an awesome life in recovery if you figure out what you are good at in terms of helping others, and then start doing it in a really big way. This is the big prize in recovery. This is how you become the person you were meant to be.

The statements that are bolded continue to be my biggest struggle and focus.  The desire to medicate difficult emotions remains high as is the fight not to acknowledge the less desirable parts of myself.  In psychology terms I have engaged in splitting and projection for so long that it’s taking a long time to re-integrate those lost and shunned parts of me and to recognise that we are both good and bad, dark and light and that’s ok.

Marc and Angel Hack Life (thank you Prim again!) shared these:

  • Not everything is meant to stay. – Change can be terrifying, yet all positive growth and healing requires change.  Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.  Because the past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.  Be strong when everything seems to be going wrong, keep taking small steps, and eventually you will find what you’re looking for.  Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it.
  • The work is worth it. – Lose the expectation that everything in life should be easy.  It rarely is.  In fact, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.  Enjoy the challenge of your achievements.  See the value in your efforts and be patient with yourself.  And realize that patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams.  It’s knowing deep down that the work is well worth it in the end.

And this line resonated for me too: I’m predisposed to be able to function and thrive on adventure, not alcohol.  This is the final sentence on an awesome 2 year sober celebratory post written by Blake which I really recommend you go read here.  Huge congrats Blake for last Wednesday 🙂

These are the words that guide me as I move into year 3 sober.  Prim shared an excellent guide to recovery that year one was physical, year two was emotional and year three was spiritual.  I’m still wading through the emotional stuff so we’ll see how I go with the spiritual! 😉

So I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, eat sugar (I wish – still working on that one!!) – so how do I celebrate this milestone achievement?  The way I used to celebrate when I was in my early twenties DANCE!! 😀  I appreciate that this is a raver tune but close your eyes, turn it up loud and dance with me?

In the words of Lindsay Kolb

“Live like there’s no tomorrow,
Love like you’ve never been hurt, and
Dance like no one is watching.”

If you’re scared of stopping drinking as this song says ‘I’m just scared you know everybody is’ and so was I but there is nothing to fear but fear itself.  What have you got to lose? It’s time to start a new life and if chillum is more your thing then here’s this  😉

25 thoughts on “Self-actualization & 2 years alcohol free

  1. Oh – is it today? huge congrats lovely Lou. Thanks for this great post (and for the shout out). LOVE love love that quote about thriving on adventure not alcohol – off to check Blake out now. Have a frabjous day! Xxx

  2. Dear Louise,
    Congratulations on your 2 years! I am happy for you. I hope you have a wonderful day. With a HUGE present ofcourse? Going out for dinner somewhere this week at the über chique place?

    Thank you for walking this road before me and sharing your knowledge and experience. <3 <3 <3 I do not think I would be sober now it you would not have been here with me from the beginning.

    Wishing you all the joy in the world on your soberversary. 🙂 🙂 🙂

    xx, Feeling

    1. Thank you feeling for your kind wishes and I’m so happy to have shared the journey with you <3 🙂 xx

      1. 🙂 <3 🙂 <3 🙂 <3 🙂 <3 🙂 <3 🙂 <3 🙂 <3 🙂 <3 🙂 <3

  3. Yay for you! Big congratulations on two years. Love journeying with you. Someday I’ll get back to England, or perhaps you’ll visit Chicago and we’ll finally meet face to face. Big hugs Lou. Onward we go.

    1. Hey Sharon One day we’ll have a caramel mocha together for sure whether your side of the pond or mine. Onwards indeed 😉

  4. It’s only appropriate that a SOBER ROCK STAR would celebrate by dancing 😉 Congrats!! xx

  5. Happy anniversary! Wow … two years. That’s incredible. Love everything you (and Prim 🙂 share in this post). It’s not so much letting go of the alcohol, as it is grabbing onto your life. Your journey is a gift to all who read. My love, Lisa

    1. Thanks SC 🙂 Wow I bet it’s caused a stir!! Not sure I like it either tbh ……

  6. it’s true that you rock. it’s completely clear to everyone who knows and reads you 🙂 go you. really. time to take on the world!
    many hugs from me xo

  7. Many, many congratulations, Lou! An awesome achievement! And a sincere thank you for sharing your knowledge, grace, and good humor with us every day. 🙂

  8. An incredibly belated well done on your two years Lou x
    I also probably wouldn’t be as far along as I am on my journey without you having paved the way, and taken the time to keep my chin up when needed with a smily face or some wonderful advice…


    1. You’re welcome Claire 🙂 It’s wonderful to have you here too xx

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