I wrote a post before entitled Before and After Selfie and opened it with this sentence: ‘I wish I had had the foresight to do this when I stopped.’
Sorting through things to move recently I came across three photos which means I inadvertently did have the foresight it would seem 🙂 Amazing what you unearth when you aren’t looking for it!
So here they are – 4 photos of me:
- Taken on 9th June 2013 at 4.32 in the afternoon – a Sunday, 15 weeks to the day before I quit. Probably had a cracking hangover and was waiting for wine o’clock so I could do it all again. I don’t look happy, pretty dead behind the eyes, my face is puffy and I have a give-away red drinkers nose!!
- Taken on 30th October 2013. Around 5 weeks after I stopped. Eyes are already brighter, puffiness is pretty much gone and nose is less Rudolph like 😉
- Taken on 6th August 2014. 6 weeks away from 1 year sober. All facial puffiness is gone, nose looking normal. Have also lost 12lbs by then.
- And Sunday, 20th September 2015. 2 years sober tomorrow and looking more comfortable in my skin 🙂
I certainly look happier don’t I? Like the longer without booze the bigger my smile/grin gets 🙂 And you can see how my hair has grown in that time too – maybe it’s a Samson thing going on? I got stronger as my hair grew longer! LOL 😀
It’s taken me 2 years to feel comfortable with the idea of sharing my photo on my blog. I hate having my photo taken and would have been useless today in the era of selfies! I think I was afraid of family or friends finding the blog and then through photos linking it with me. I was still ashamed of my drinking even though I hadn’t done anything under it’s influence for 2 years. I still felt ashamed for being in recovery.
But not anymore. It is part of me now – and so I embrace it like I do the fact that I have blonde hair and blue eyes. I don’t hide it away in some dark corner like so many of my emotions that I tried to suppress in the past. That’s what took me to this place in the first place and kept me trapped for so long! No more secrecy. No more shame. No more hiding. As Brene says shame feeds on secrecy, silence and judgement (of self or of others). No more. And I’m doing the next right thing for me, which links perfectly with this parting gift today.
This short video comes courtesy of Glennon Doyle Melton over at Momastery and it’s about rock bottom. That picture of me taken before I stopped drinking maybe doesn’t look like a rock bottom but it sure felt like it to me and I feel much happier like this 🙂