What a difference two years makes!

So I’m slipping in this extra post because it feels important.  Last night I went to the Xmas dinner of the drug and alcohol treatment centre where I volunteer and oh boy what a difference to past experiences.

bills bseThe reason this evening was so striking was because of how I felt the last time I went on an Xmas dinner night out which was two years ago and I wrote about it here.  This is an excerpt of what I wrote:

Most of my colleagues were drinking and the table was crowded with glasses of fizz and wine but that was okay.  Although my new colleagues were warm and friendly I was having an excruciatingly difficult time of it.  Alcohol had always been my social lubricant and without it I felt lost and incapable.  I wasn’t me and I didn’t know who ‘me’ was without alcohol in this situation.”

So the key difference between the two evenings were then I was only just 11 weeks sober and so it was all very new.  These were nursing colleagues and there was an expectation to drink I felt (although I’m sure that was more in my head than being expressed by them).

This time I’m at over 2 year sober (in fact I’m  2 days away from 800 days!!) and so it is very normal for me now.  I was with staff from a recovery facility so most people weren’t drinking and there was no expectation to drink.

But most importantly it was how I felt that was the game-changer.  I felt relaxed, chatty, present.  I felt like ‘me’ and it felt good.  If I had known this back then it would have helped me enormously to challenge and manage my own weighty self-expectations.  The difference in my thinking and how I feel about myself is difficult to put into words –  but it is in a profoundly positive way.  To use an AA truism: don’t give up before the miracle happens!! 🙂

And no hangover this morning *deep happy sigh* 😉

8 thoughts on “What a difference two years makes!

    1. Thank you lovely 🙂 And HUGE congrats on your 1 year celebration today. 365 days is a big deal and you are almost half way to 800 already 😉 xx

  1. 2 days from 800! Wonderful! I’m still discovering what feeling like “me” feels like…it feels good 🙂 Congrats on 1 year Claire!! xx

  2. That’s great that you had such a good time, I’m so pleased for you! Loved the track, too – just shows that the blue skies were there behind the clouds all the time, yes?! Xxx

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