This is equal to 2 years, 8 months, and 27 days, 142 weeks and 6 days, 714 weekdays and 286 weekend days, 24,000 hours, 1,440,000 minutes or 86,400,000 seconds since booze passed my lips (intentionally!) or I awoke with a hangover.
And the word sublimation came to mind which means:
- Psychology. the diversion of the energy of a sexual or other biological impulse from its immediate goal to one of a more acceptable social, moral, or aesthetic nature or use.
- Chemistry. the act, fact, or process of subliming (def 9).
- a purification or refinement; ennoblement.
According to Wiki:
In psychology, sublimation is a mature type of defense mechanism where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are unconsciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behavior, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse.
Sigmund Freud believed that sublimation was a sign of maturity (indeed, of civilization), allowing people to function normally in culturally acceptable ways. He defined sublimation as the process of deflecting sexual instincts into acts of higher social valuation, being “an especially conspicuous feature of cultural development; it is what makes it possible for higher psychical activities, scientific, artistic or ideological, to play such an important part in civilised life”. Wade and Tavris present a similar view, stating that sublimation is when displacement “serves a higher cultural or socially useful purpose, as in the creation of art or inventions”.
These definitions fit for me how recovery feels. Plus I love the word sublime as it is so descriptive and not as over-used as many other words of exquisiteness which is what it means to me. And it describes both the act of stopping drinking and the feeling engendered by overcoming the obsessive compulsion to drink. OK so my desire wasn’t sexual as in Freud’s interpretation (although it did lead to perhaps unwise events of that nature when I did drink!) My drinking displacement has resulted in this blog, my e-book, resources and courses which I hope has served a higher socially useful purpose and I do consider them my unique inventions and creations of sobriety.
And that’s looking externally. The biggest refinement or enablement has been internal – both within my immediate and close family and within myself. Just thinking about writing this sentence makes me start to well up with tears the change is so profound. Only last night we had a sleep-over for my daughter & I was present both during the evening, overnight (they didn’t settle until gone 1am!!) and this morning. I commented to MrHOF that in my old life booze would have been an easy way to soften the edges of a potentially stressful event & all the noise & mess. But what if something had happened overnight? Or how would I have been the next morning with a hangover? All of these are thought experiments as they no longer apply to me or my life.
I have changed so much as part of the recovery process. As the quote at the top indicates 1000 clear and present hangover free days meaning no more looking around with worry about what I might have done under alcohol’s influence, looking back in fear for past misdemeanours or looking down in shame and guilt …… I only look forward with anticipation, excitement and contentment.
1000 days deserves not one tune but two!! I’m a different person and I couldn’t have done it without MrHOF <3
Over to the Shapeshifters 😀
And no more time warps for me – although this song and it’s joy remains one of my fav’s whether I’ve been drinking or not 😉
And I can’t even begin to count how much I’ve saved (and I’m not just talking about in terms of my dignity and self-respect!). When we drank and smoked we were spending £10 a day so by that calculation it’s £10,000 but that was with old pricing. It’d be more like £15-20 a night now which makes it probably closer to £25K and change conservatively 😮
Finally I need to thank ALL of you. Every single one of you who reads and comments or lurks. Thank you for being here, for supporting me, and if you’re reading this and wondering if you can achieve this too – to you I say abso-bloody-lutely. If I can do this you can do this! 🙂