So I listened to this last Saturday night – after a day of District Nursing and before going to a wedding reception. I wanted to listen to it as the image (see left) and brief description called to me. The podcast description said:
Laura McKowen and Meadow DeVor discuss the not-so-pretty side of the holiday season, the ghost-ships of Christmas Past, how to honor what you’re really feeling, and why we must invite grief into our holiday traditions.
For me it felt like listening in on two sober friends sharing through tears their experience of grief and how difficult this day and time of year can be. The grief that we might feel for a sense of family present, lost or never had. The grief for the drinking that we can no longer engage in when we feel like all around us are. The grief for the loss of the ability to check out from difficult things that alcohol offered us, temporarily at least. So many things – which boils down to the death of the ideal. Pre-meditated expectations and resentments writ large in my case. It was an important discussion and I wanted to share it here today in case you are feeling this way. I wrote about grief here. You are not alone.
Have compassion for yourself today of all days.
If you are really struggling please reach out to someone. I used to volunteer for the Samaritans and they will be manning the phones, texts and emails today just like every other day. I shared their contact details here.