Christmas Day Blues

So I listened to this last Saturday night – after a day of District Nursing and before going to a wedding reception.  I wanted to listen to it as the image (see left) and brief description called to me.  The podcast description said:

Laura McKowen and Meadow DeVor discuss the not-so-pretty side of the holiday season, the ghost-ships of Christmas Past, how to honor what you’re really feeling, and why we must invite grief into our holiday traditions.

For me it felt like listening in on two sober friends sharing through tears their experience of grief and how difficult this day and time of year can be.  The grief that we might feel for a sense of family present, lost or never had.  The grief for the drinking that we can no longer engage in when we feel like all around us are.  The grief for the loss of the ability to check out from difficult things that alcohol offered us, temporarily at least.  So many things –  which boils down to the death of the ideal.  Pre-meditated expectations and resentments writ large in my case.  It was an important discussion and I wanted to share it here today in case you are feeling this way.  I wrote about grief here.  You are not alone.

Have compassion for yourself today of all days.

If you are really struggling please reach out to someone.  I used to volunteer for the Samaritans and they will be manning the phones, texts and emails today just like every other day.  I shared their contact details here.

12 thoughts on “Christmas Day Blues

  1. Perfect timing 🙂 I’ve been feeling down/resentful/jealous (maybe?) this season. I plan to exercise a little sel-compassion & listen to this tonight! xx

    1. Me too Lori and this podcast was perfectly timed by Meadow & Laura xx

  2. I hope you had a good Christmas!
    I felt sad leading up to Christmas, but not this holiday weekend.
    It’s strange, sometimes, when I feel sadness, feeling alone even with people around.
    But this weekend was so nice, and it grounded me again.
    xo
    Wendy

  3. I didn’t get the Christmas blues, but boy did I need this on New Year’s Eve. Listened to the podcast, went to a New Year’s Eve party for a while so I didn’t isolate (and actually had fun singing Christmas carols and Beatles songs), then home before midnight ahead of my husband to think and journal about my ghost ship and sister life. Had an “aha” moment when I realized it was unfair and unrealistic to expect my husband and kids to fill up my anxiety hole because the insecurity stems from childhood, and they didn’t even know me then. Only I knew the scared little girl trying to put on a brave face and handle problems beyond her years so her world wouldn’t fall apart. So instead of trying to push her away, I can invite her in and sit with her feelings and get to know her better. That’s a positive start to the new year. Thank you for sharing. So helpful!

    1. Julie this bought tears to my eyes. These words could have been written by me too: “Only I knew the scared little girl trying to put on a brave face and handle problems beyond her years so her world wouldn’t fall apart.” Being kind to our inner child is the only compassionate response I know xx

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