So this post started out as a text conversation between Daisy and myself. We were talking about shame and I joked that the first rule of shame club is know your triggers as advocated by shame researcher and expert Brene Brown and discussed in this post here.
So this got me thinking about Fight Club, and the premise of Project Mayhem, a film that I loved both for the idea and the acting cast. What’s not to like with Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Helena Bonham Carter and I discussed this film in the very early days of my sober journey in a post called bottle fatigue.
I think there is a connection between shame and fight club. As described on Wiki ‘the violence of the fight clubs serves not to promote or glorify physical combat, but for participants to experience feeling in a society where they are otherwise numb‘ and Pitt said, “Fight Club is a metaphor for the need to push through the walls we put around ourselves and just go for it“. For me this resonates with the journey to free ourselves from shame and live authentically and wholeheartedly.
So I’m going to co-opt the rules of Fight Club and rewrite them for Shame Club, which in the same way that Project Mayhem was anti-materialist and anti-corporate, is actually anti-shame.
1st RULE: You TALK about SHAME.
2nd RULE: Know your triggers.
3rd RULE: Reach out to someone you trust.
4th RULE: Only two in a shame share.
5th RULE: One shame share at a time.
6th RULE: Share your story – no holding back, no blame.
7th RULE: Shame shares will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at SHAME CLUB, you HAVE to share.
I love the anarchic idea of subverting the stiff upper lip and keep up with the Jones’ mentality and replacing it with authenticity, vulnerability and compassion. Project mayhem becomes about how we feel not what we own (or in our case drink) just as Tyler Durden envisioned it! 🙂
Which leaves just time for one gratuitous image of Brad Pitt in Fight Club 😉