So last week a very old friend of mine, who I hadn’t seen in a couple of years, came to see me. We shared a house together another lifetime ago when we were in our mid twenties and single and living it large. Alcohol was a big part of that life and three day weekend drinking benders were common for my friend.
Fast forward to now and their experience they shared last week seems almost miraculous to me. They had continued to drink this way until last year when they abstained for a month and then began a course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for 7 months. They recounted to me how now they can open a bottle of wine drink a glass and then put the cork back in and leave it. From the person who, by their own admission, previously if they’d opened a bottle of wine they would have finished it, probably opened another one and then finished that. They drank until they passed out and could not stop but now they could stop and they did. I am SO pleased for my friend and that they seemed to have turned themselves and their relationship to alcohol around.
Cue the voice in my head – well if they can do this why can’t you? And believe me this is a genuine question, not just a weaselly worded reason to start again. I had always pledged to stop for a year at least and that still stands but I couldn’t help but think that if I had a course of CBT within the next year might I be capable of the same? Could I go back to being a ‘normie’ if I unpicked the unhelpful thoughts, feelings and behaviours that have surrounded me and my relationship to alcohol until now?
I know that they are them and I am me and what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another but I just can’t shake the idea that maybe if I could sort me, then it would sort my unhealthy maladaptive overuse of alcohol. The whole is it me or the alcohol question …..
I don’t know the answer to that and will think on. My friend was also adamant that this turn around has been helped by giving up their diet coke habit which was also out of control and that this has made a huge difference. But that is a conversation for another blog 🙂