Progress not perfection

Last week I had the pleasure of meeting 3 sober friends for a chat over lunch and cups of tea while all around were busy celebrating Paddy’s Day with booze.  Although we ‘knew’ each other this was the first time that we had met and for me it was both anxiety-provoking and like coming home all at the same time.  I had a fantastic time, 3 1/2 hours had never gone so fast and I have never before not wanted to leave the table in case I missed something!

What I learned through our conversations was that we were all quite different and yet our stories were reassuringly familiar when it came to drinking and what had bought us all together and to the point of stopping.  I loved our differences in both who we were and how we were treading our own paths.  Each journey was as unique as our individual finger-print.  There was no ‘one size fits all’ panacea.

Some of us started blogging when we had stopped drinking and others had not

Some of us were drinking alcohol free beers and wines and others were not

Some of us were attending AA and others were not

And that I found deeply comforting as my perfectionist inner critic loves nothing more than finding out that there is a supposed ‘right’ way to do something and that I haven’t done it.  Wolfie would have been straight in my ear with his ‘oh well, you’ve not done it correctly so you may as well drink again’ tactics.

See the only thing that matters is that you don’t drink.  How you manage that is entirely up to you and you just need to do whatever works for you.  Progress not perfection 🙂

19 thoughts on “Progress not perfection

  1. that does sound lovely. glad you all got together! I love the camerarderie in this sober blogging community! (love it, but can’t spell it, apparently!) xx

  2. I’m very jealous. I’ve tried in vain to do that over here. No luck, we’re just too spread out. I’m so glad you enjoyed your visit.

    1. Hi Sharon and sorry you’re struggling to make this work for you over your side of the pond. Sometimes us being a tiny island is helpful! 😉

    2. also jealous. impossible to connect face to face with others here unless i go to AA which is not my thing. amy

  3. Sounds so nice! I am trying to get away from that black and white thinking, too (about one way to do things). We were all different drinkers, why not have different types of sobriety? xx

  4. Sounds like a lovely lunch! I did laugh when I read the line “my perfectionist inner critic loves nothing more than finding out that there is a supposed ‘right’ way to do something and that I haven’t done it” – ooh, I do that too! Sometimes I even worry that I wasn’t drinking “enough” to warrant all this quitting fuss. Ludicrous, first time ever that I’ve worried I wasn’t enough of a boozer! You are so right, it doesn’t matter *how* we do it, just that we do. x

  5. Great post Lucy! Thanks for sharing! We must celebrate our differences as well as our similarities…part of being open-minded is accepting and learning from all experience, not just our own.

    1. Hi Lisa and thanks for reading and commenting! I agree that not getting stuck in dogmatic black and white thinking sometimes isn’t helpful – not to me anyway!

  6. It is fantastic to meet like minded people and make new friends 🙂 Think we may have a new mantra “Progress not Perfection” xxx

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