So another milestone – 18 months alcohol free today. That’s 589 days or 13410 hours or an even more ridiculously large number in minutes and then seconds so I’ll stop there! 😉
Can you tell I’m happy about this? There are two big learns from the last few months that I’ve noticed:
- The symptom of PAWS are all but gone. Yes I kid you not – I noticed not their presence but their absence. Life just feels less emotionally erratic and more mentally balanced. I still have my moments – in the only way that a women can (thanks universe) but apart from that I am most of the time on an even emotional keel and almost sane. Hallelujah says Mr HOF and the HOFlets!!
- I had my first major social success a few weeks back. We were going to a family party where drinking was the main focus, with a bit of cake thrown in for good measure. First one in a good six months. I was more anxious about being triggered about smoking than drinking which was an odd realisation in itself. I took my alcohol free drink and when I got there I did not ONCE feel deprived. I wasn’t interested in what others were drinking and was completely unphased by being surrounded by people on the lash. In fact one lady who was, I’m guessing, slightly older than me was making a real t*t of herself quite early on and I thought ‘god that would have been me and thank god it’s not anymore …..’. This feels like such a major shift in my thinking and makes me confident that I can keep going, that I can keep doing this and will just be my way of living in the world from here.
Why am I sharing this? For all of you reading this who wonder if you can live your life happily without booze I can tell you the answer is a resounding YES. Can it become ‘your’ normal? YES and double YES. No one queried me about my drinking, it’s something I just don’t do anymore and it is just the most LIBERATING feeling in the world when I look back at how small my world had become when I was drinking. I spent an evening with family and friends, chatted to people, celebrated the occasion, left when the kids were tired and woke up the next morning remembering everything, feeling tired but NO HANGOVER and no fear over whether I had (yet again) made an arse of myself. God that never gets old 😉
And you can have it too 🙂 If you don’t think you can, believe me when I say this can be yours too. If you don’t feel confident, reach out for help either here online or in real life. I wanted to be the best person that I could be for myself and my family and for me that meant freeing myself from booze. I want you to be the best version of yourself too and if I can help you with that just ask ……..
I’ll close out today with the lovely Steve Coogan – a fellow sober Brightonian and my sober defiance song 😉