As I hit 600 days hangover free I marvel that another 100 days have gone by! It is so much easier now to mark off the calendar than those first 100 days that are hard fought. Now difficult things can happen and the thought of drinking just doesn’t cross my mind. Chocolate? Yes! Booze? No thanks 😉
When I was teaching my first ‘How to Quit Drinking’ workshop with Club Soda in London 6 days ago I said the reason I still count the day is not because I miss drinking but to remind myself how far I’ve come. I also said that if you’d have told me 2 years ago that I would be teaching others how to stop drinking I’d have fallen off my chair laughing I was so embedded in my drinking ……. It is almost unbelievable to me.
I was talking to MrHOF today who’s gone away for the week-end. I was telling him how I felt about him going away and how it had changed. I explained that when I was drinking I loved him going away as I could drink without limits – no one was watching and keeping count. After we stopped this was replaced by me hating him going away as I would be on my own with the kids and no booze to help me out. Now I don’t feel anything apart from happiness that he’s getting to see his friends. Me and the kids? We’ll be fine – everything is so much calmer.
The more time goes on the more I realise how much of this journey is about emotional sobriety. Putting down the drink is relatively easy, it’s staying stopped that’s more tricky. Particularly if, like me, you’ve now worked out you’re a co-dependent. Another legacy of growing up in a household of drinkers!
If you’re wondering what co-dependence looks like then this test will help (proceed with caution as may be triggery)
I scored 9 out of 9 so have a great deal of work to do on boundaries and self-worth but that’s okay. If I hadn’t stopped drinking none of these realisations would have been made and I would have just handed down the same to my children. This time it’s different and I couldn’t be more happy or pleased 🙂
If you’re reading this and feel scared about the prospect of stopping drinking, I was too. But each day that I put between myself and my last drink the more my confidence grew and the fear subsided. Believe me when I say, if I can do this so can you 🙂
PS Tommy Rosen’s fabulous Recovery2point0 conference begins in a month! Over 50,000 from around the world will participate from June 12-18th, 2015. And as always, the conference is online and FREE to attend for everyone!
Recovery 2.0 is a global movement and community of people who embrace a holistic approach to recovery from all addiction. His online conferences shares teachings on the power of yoga, meditation, 12 Steps, other spiritual programs, healthy relationships with people, food, money and the identification of one’s purpose and mission in life.
I’ll be looking forward to Gabor Mate, Johann Hari, Gabrielle Bernstein and Nikki Myers 🙂