So out running and this song spun round. I listened to it twice back to back because if felt so resonant. Yes I know it’s a song about love and relationships but it reminded me of how I’d been feeling of late what with the move and everything. Despite being only 10 days off of 2 years sober there are still moments when I miss the release of booze and this song captured that for me. I know it’s a warning sign as the song goes …..
Someone on the BFB on FB (thank you sober universe!) shared this great article about moving house and how stressful it can be, which really helped and you can read it here. This bit really hit home, excuse the pun!
Transitions, by definition, are times of change, and nobody likes change. Human beings are creatures of habit, comfort, and familiarity. We like our routines and most people gravitate to a life of predictable structure. We take emotional refuge in keeping physical order in our homes and mental refuge in knowing that everything has its place. So what happens when you move? In a word: chaos. With your physical world turned upside down, your inner world tends to follow suit. Like all transitions, moving provides a powerful opportunity to heal layers of ourselves that often don’t emerge unless we’re in the midst of a transition.
Part of that transition for me is recognising that’s it okay to miss booze at these moments. I’m not some superhuman automaton, I feel stuff and just trying to squash it down and ignore it is a recipe for disaster.
Thankfully later that day I attended the summer reunion for the treatment centre where I volunteer to celebrate the successes of those who were clean and sober and remember those who had lost the fight and were no longer with us.
This is what I wrote in an email to Prim afterwards: