“Just sit. Notice where you feel hard and sit with that.
In the middle of the hardness, you’ll find anger, sit with that.
Go to the center of the anger and you’ll probably come to sadness.
Stay with the sadness until it comes to vulnerability.
Keep sitting with what comes up: the deeper you dig, the more tender you become.
Raw fear can open into the wide expanse of genuineness, compassion, gratitude, and acceptance in the present moment.
A tender heart appears naturally when you are able to stay present. From your heart, you can see the true pigment of the sky.
You can see the vibrant yellow of the sunflower and the deep color of your daughters’s eye.
A tender heart doesn’t block out rain clouds, or tears or dying sunflowers. Allow both beauty and sadness to touch you. This love, not fear.”
(meditation from Colleen Saidman Yee)
High ambitions are noble and important, but there can also come a point when they become the sources of terrible trouble and unnecessary panic.
One way of undercutting our more reckless ideals and perfectionism was pioneered by a British psychoanalyst called Donald Winnicott in the 1950s. The concept of ‘good enough’ was invented as an escape from dangerous ideals. It began in relation to parenthood, but it can be applied across life more generally, especially around work and love.
It takes a good deal of bravery and skill to keep even a very ordinary life going. To persevere through the challenges of love, work and children is quietly heroic. We should perhaps more often sometimes step back in order to acknowledge in a non-starry-eyed but very real way that our lives are good enough – and that this is, in itself, already a very grand achievement.
You Do Enough, You Have Enough, You Are Enough
Happy sober Friday xx