Tag Archives: Belle

The value of Belle and Team 100

I am a member of Belle’s Team 100 and this has helped me immensely on my sober journey.

Here is why when I look at last night and this morning and our sober penpal conversation:

Me: Work Christmas do tonight – driving.  Sober.

Belle: 🙂 and how are you feeling?

Me: Just back.  Honestly?  Like shit.  How do I ever cut loose again?  I was so envious, not during the meal, but afterwards when people were going on to a bar and I was going home.  It’s a new job and a new team and I felt like someone had cut my tongue out.  Socially awkward once more.  I’m now frightened of booze.  Feel angry, frustrated.  Bought myself a bar of chocolate to eat when I got home as a reward and can’t even bring myself to eat it.  Sad sack me …..  I’ll probably feel better in the morning.  Thanks for asking and caring though 🙂  Remain sober even though wolfie is having a field day.

Belle: I guess we don’t ‘cut loose’ in a traditional sense. we laugh, cry, run, tell jokes, share stories, and raise a glass as a toast (of soda) but we just don’t drink and fall down and get sloppy and have regrets.  we have all of the good parts of being sober. I’m pretty frightened of booze myself. It ruins too many lives. you may be a bit shyer without booze than you were before.  that’s not tragic 🙂 maybe you’re a good listener now instead of a blah-blah talker (I talked about this in my last subscriber podcast called Fun). hugs from me

Me: Thanks Belle.  Emotional hangover this morning.  Not a happy sober lady but a dry drunk this morning :s Going for a run in the hope that this will sort me out.  Will remain sober today even though I long to say ‘f*ck it’.

Belle: there is a predictable “fuck it” around day 80.  but just past this, you can see 100 and all is well again.

Me: Good to know and enjoy the moderation time away from your computer 🙂  I’ll sober you again tomorrow x



Day 77

Taking risks

Sometimes you have to feel the fear and do it anyway.  That’s how I felt about stopping drinking.  My mind crowded with all the reasons not to stop rather than the positives to be gained.  I tried to negotiate with myself, buy myself more time, offer excuses as to why it was a bad idea.  My grip on the glass got tighter and my drinking more urgent knowing that the end of our time was approaching ……

Today I was reminded again of that feeling and it ‘gave me a thirst’.  I wrote a blog on Soberistas and the kind folk over there said some really nice things about it and encouraged me to stand up and be brave.  Again all the reasons why I shouldn’t went through my head.

But I took a deep breath and shared it with Belle.  She concurred and said ‘this is good’ and you should share it with a newspaper and see if they might be interested in publishing it.  And again all the negatives swirled up and the thirst reappeared.

But I didn’t drink and I sent it.  And now they’ve agreed to publish it and I can’t quite believe it.  Alcohol sucks your confidence and makes you feel not capable in so many ways.  You become your own worst enemy.  But it’s easy to fix if you just put down the glass.

If you had told me 40 days ago that stopping drinking would have led to me being published in a UK national newspaper I’d have laughed and said I’ll have what you’re drinking!  What might you achieve if you stop?